"J" is for my Junk.

Thank God this week's letter is "J"

It's the perfect letter to let me play

and maybe just maybe pull me from my funk

because I get to write about a favorite subject, my junk.

My junk is quite honestly of a decent size

in fact once you see it, you won't believe your eyes

nobody would ever dare to call my junk small

it literally extends from the bedroom right into the hall.

It really is quite amazing just how much my junk has touched

as a boy I never thought just how many lives it would affect so much

from men, to women, to children, even pets

once it's touched you, my junk is not so easy to forget.

Like anybody else my junk has got bigger as I grew

really quite amazing how much junk I did acrue

at first I could barely fill a room with my junk

now it's all over the house, the garage, and even in my trunk.

Because much like everyone else I can't throw my junk away

you just never know if you'll need that piece of junk someday.

WHAT?!? What did you think this was about??

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"I" is for Icarus

Icarus was a Greek filled with self assurance and very vain

who thought himself a god and could never imagine himself in pain

He fashioned himself wings to take flight and soar

like the gods of olden days had done so in the days of yore 

But Icarus was not a god, but simply a  very vain man

who the gods looked down upon and fashioned their own plan

for as Icarus flew to close to the sun

his wings burned off and singed his bum 

As he fell to earth he realised his own folly

that to be a god is a birthright not a calling

that his downfall was his own vanity

too late he saw to save his own sanity

He died as he lived thinking only of self

looking like a child's toy thrown off a shelf

finally learning the lesson so many have learned

if you fly to close to the sun you are bound to be burned

http://frommywickedwaystoturningaphrase.blogspot.com/

voices(inside and out?)

I'm a sadistic masochistic eccentric
chauvinistic son of a bitch
Who can't find his insane brains mainframe
or a functioning facade of an on/off switch

I'm a demonic soulless sociopath creation
hellbent on a chaotic and random demonstration
of my own fucking frustrations

Content to commiserate in my own minds madness
forever silly and sublime in my own souls sadness
forced to endure the wacky wallowing that's become my life
until the bittersweet blackness comes to end the endless strife

My inner child has disturbing taste
that go far beyond crayons or school paste
they scare even me,a man not scared so easily
now how to go about exercising this part of me

I wish everyday to have peace and calm
but cant see it happening with all this going on
the inner turmoil between artist and action
leaves my soul without peaceful satisfaction

Only I will ever be able to figure all this out
whether through silent expression or violent shout
I pray someday I will again feel whole
until then I guess at least I have a goal

"H" is for the Happy.....

This is the fantastic story of a local icon of sorts

she's seen a lot of seamen and used even more ports

                                    It's a little bit of a drive, but she is still quite a good looker

I speak of course of Duluth's one and only Happy Hooker.

She'll take on men or women, either way is just fine

and it's always guaranteed to be an extremely good time

she'll give quite a ride,one like you've never before seen

and she loves to do big groups, if you know what I mean.

Now don't you worry about the things that you see

all implements of the trade that's made her adored by me

the poles,and rope, and hooks and ties

by the end of the ride,you won't even mind the flies.

Now she maybe getting older,and smell a wee bit like fish

but she's been at this awhile, granting many a young man's wish

she may have a few cracks on the surface, but I know she'll still float

for you see, dear readers, the Happy Hookers just a fishing boat

http://frommywickedwaystoturningaphrase.blogspot.com/

apologies

For you followers,and those random readers, please allow my to say I'm sorry if my post "others?!?!" warning offended anyone. I posted it on facebook 1st and the warning was for certain people who feel the need to police what grown ups say to other grown ups when they let their small to young CHILDREN PLAY on their accounts. For everyone on here I copied and pasted the whole note, not thinking I admit,so please just enjoy or  at least read the poem part and know it is intended as a release. That's all it is not aimed at anyone in particular

others?!?!!

Before you read this missive here is a warning it is written by an ADULT FOR ADULTS! IT is not intended for children.
I'm not responsible for what your kids read on the Internet, YOU ARE!! Don't let them read this if you don't want them too.
If my notes or attitude or general lack of give a flying fuck bother you ,delete me. I have friends in the real world who know exactly how I am,I'll be fine. So for the rest of you here goes.....
It seems if some others are hell bent to ignite my violence
which is fine,but don't cry as I sit in the aftermath's silence
because there is no chance of me shedding a single tear
as I introduce your entire family to it's most inner fear
A man with nothing left to loose
how you leave this world is mine to choose
It could be quick and clean,but snakes like you don't deserve
instead you'll get the full pent up rage I have in reserve
I will make you watch the loved ones you hold dear
with tears in their eyes with a look way beyond fear
my knife cuts quick,but so slow I will go
so the pain your punk ass feels is like none you'll ever know
 Then with you I will take as long as I care to
for their be no family left to come take care of you
we will get to know each other so intimately
even in hell your soul will never be able to forget me
So remember before you run your fucking mouth about a guy you barely know
make sure he's not a sociopath who enjoys a big house fires glow
and shut it quick and keep my name out your mouth
before the life you hold dear goes forever south.

"G" is good

I'm sometimes wonder if I'm all bad or at least somewhat good

like when I want to drive over people in the neighborhood

Is it inherently evil that I want them gone

or is it good for the planet as time moves on

Now I would never act on my inner designs

but maybe I could say that I never saw the signs

"children at play" is not a free pass

to run around in the street and act like an.....(donkey)

All I'm asking is it so wrong or bad

to rid the world of things that make us sad

or is it good to want to make our world a better place

and get rid of the worse of us and leave the rest with some space

Now this is a simple poem of amusing thoughts

even if it describes all our wants

we can't go out and "thin the herd"

no matter what kind of person they are even the turds

Good or bad is all relative to your perspective

all we can do is keep our kids protected

So remember friends its all up to you

choose to be what you are inside of you

http://frommywickedwaystoturningaphrase.blogspot.com/